Bossboi

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
welcometonightvale-posts rockhoax
generalgrievousdatingsim

i can’t talk shit about the pirates of the caribbean films as if elizabeth swann becoming pirate king didn’t hand my entire ass to me and make me the gay i am today

generalgrievousdatingsim

image
image

these 2 looks basically defined my sexuality and i’m not afraid to admit it

generalgrievousdatingsim

things pirates of the caribbean got right:

1. will and elizabeth’s love story

2. elizabeth becoming pirate king

3. avoiding sexualizing elizabeth or the other female pirate characters in the first three films by allowing them to wear period-accurate pirate outfits that weren’t tailored to be revealing and impractical for ‘sex appeal’ just because they’re women

4. the entire score but especially the iconic ‘he’s a pirate’ main theme

blumalamoot disasterbidesign
mysticmisfit89

Meanwhile, in prehistoric Canada…..

thefreckledavantgardegoober

No no, you don’t understand, moose really do get that big. Take it from a Canadian. I’ve seen that bullshit in person. Scary as all heck.

qeilla

And that’s how people can die if they hit a moose. Seriously, one of our fears when driving in the country is having to deal with this scenario of a moose jumping out in front of the car.

reptila-tequila

moose are actual legit ice age megafauna; theyve been here since the ice age, they are old as fuck. they also are pretty terrifying and ive echoed this before but i went to wiki and “In terms of raw numbers, they attack more people than bears and wolves combined” and “ In the Americas, moose injure more people than any other wild mammal and, worldwide, only hippopotamuses injure more.”

like, fuck off with that

firedanceryote

I was dog sitting a dog once who insisted she had to go out in the middle of the night it was an emergency, so I took her out. Suddenly she starts pointing and barking and I look up and can just make out the outline of a HUGE moose. I’ve been accidentally face to face with a black bear and that scared me less than being up close with a moose. I’m 5 foot so imagine staring up at an animal several feet taller than you that is debating charging the dog who’s leash you are holding. I was terrified as I grabbed the dog by her collar to get better control over her and backed up slowly til I was out of line of sight and bolted for the house at a dead run. Did you know most Canadian lake monster stories come from people seeing moose swimming? They are massive animals.

weareallmedie

They are massive and they charge. I get so scared when tourists are all “oh yeah, we got out of the car to get a closer look and, ya’ll have some mighty impressive animals around here.”

Yes, yes we do, and they have mighty tired guardian angels because moose can, and do, charge at people.

last-snowfall

Someone my mom worked with died hitting a moose on the highway. Their eyes don’t reflect light. In the dark they are literally nothing but a big slightly darker shape in the night.

Roughly every year in the town I grew up in, a cow (moose) and her calf will wander through downtown. Maybe once or twice. If she’s aggressive enough, the local Mounties will escort her through to keep idiots away.

harukami

I’ve definitely talked with people who thought moose were deer-sized or maybe horse-sized and I was like NO YOU DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND MOOSE ARE TERRIFYING

Moose are terrifying, you guys.

anubituf

I finally live on a province where moose and deer exist.

I do not drive at night in fear of meeting one. If you hit a moose going 90 on a highway, not only is your car trashed, you are probably trashed. I’ve seen cars that got wrecked and there seems to be a consensus that at least half the time, the giant fucking beastie just shakes itself off and continues gallumphing along the countryside.

warsfeils

If you fucking hit a moose with your car and their legs go through your windshield, congratulations, you are dead. Massive hooves kicking you to death? Yeah. 

Moose are fucking terrifying. Bull moose won’t fuck with you too much unless you fuck with them, but the time a bull moose casually swaggered his way past 7 year old me when I was sledding literally put me off winter sports for a solid month. 

Momma moose and their babies, though? I legitimately had to call in to work to be like “ey yo there is a moose in my driveway and I can’t get out” AND MY MANAGERS UNDERSTOOD.

Moose. MOOSE.

lovedsomuch

I have to admit I thought they were like a Canadian deer before this.

teapotsahoy

The commenter above who claims that moose’s eyes don’t reflect light is only partially correct; if you shine a flashlight in a moose’s eyes it will glow like a cat (and then you will probably get killed to death by an annoyed moose) but the reason they are so dangerous to cars at nights is that they are too tall for the headlights to reach. Think about that.

sputnikcentury

Moose confirmed for actual kaiju.

thisnewdevilry

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Kaiju category: Maple.  

luadell

Now I kinda want a kaiju movie set in Canada where it’s just a moose. Like a regular moose but more aggressive.

astolen98saturnsedan

@ssalogel

hellenhighwater

For scale, a female african elephant is 7.2-8.5 feet at the shoulder, according to Wikipedia. A moose is  4.6 – 6.9 ft. at the shoulder. So instead of thinking “This animal is a bit bigger than a deer” you can think “This animal is barely smaller than an elephant”

writernotwaiting

And they can run up to 40 miles per hour

dynastylnoire

A 16 wheeler with fur

kayasurin

If you hit a moose with a 16-wheeler that 16-wheeler is broken and the moose is probably still alive and pissed. (I used to arrange tows for those guys, better than hitting a moose with an SUV or god forbid a sedan, but… not by much.)

asknotbug

Where I’m at now, we have elk. An elk is about horse-sized and can fuck up a 16-wheeler. Moose are so much bigger. xD

I still find it hilariously bizarre that one of the few known predators of the moose is the orca. Because moose not only charge, they dive. And they dive deep.

Source: outdooroddities.com
welcometonightvale-posts bookworm712
galadariel

it’s back

the-female-gaymer

will this never get explained to me???

southbreak

what is happening

dorkynanni

Explanation:

They are shooting the scene in Desolation of Smaug where Kili and Tauriel are having their first real conversation in the dungeons.

In the scene, they talk about a party happening upstairs (something about the stars, I can’t remember). Legolas is supposed to be seen staring at the two of them in jealousy ‘cause he likes Tauriel.

Orlando, however, chose to make this glorious blooper happen by wearing a party hat and calling them sluts.

forest-khalse

https://youtu.be/UXDBRP5HEQA

wuekka

WAIT, THIS WASN’T A FUNNY EDIT?!

blumalamoot dahniwitchoflight
dahniwitchoflight

All of The Tribes of The Xaela, from FFXIV, sung by me to the tune of Yakko Warner’s “Nations of the World”

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Lyrics:

Of the Tribes of the Steppe there’s first the Geneq, the Horo, and Goro, then Mol

Then Bairon, and Bayaqud, Ura, and Malaguld, Remember of course the Kahkol

Now there’s Adarkim, Bolir, the Sun-Children Oronir, Buduga, now the Dazkar

The Towering Olkund, the Dead Drunken Ugund, then Qerel and Tribe Avagnar


And then Dhoro, and Haragin, Secretive Khatayin, recently now Arulaq

The silent tribe Qestir, and Orben, and Uyagir, ever-migrating Dataq


There’s Feminine Borlaaq, and poisonous Mankhad, but sadly the Hotgo are gone

The Tribe of the Tumet, the Oroq and Urumet, Moks, Orl, Kha and Kagon

Jhungid and Gesi, the Songs of the Qalli, Miraculous twins of Himaa

The Malqir plays Kharaqiq, Masculine Iriq, and Cold of the North Angura


The Clay Urns of Gharl and Violent Dotharl, Furious Raging Chaghan,

There’s Saghal, then Mierqid, settled-down Dalamiq, 


The Warring Tribe Kharlu, The Skin Painted Torgud 

The River Tribe Ejinn, The Riders of Noykin 

And those are the Tribes of Xaela


*edit* I did it again but I added background music this time and also changed the pronunciation of Xaela from Jhaela to Zaela because apparently a character in FFXIV saying it with the softer ZhJ sound was part of his accent and not how it was meant to be said lol whoops

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUrq0AXlc3E

blumalamoot spongebobssquarepants
ruskiizek

Slavic Cossack dancing known as Hopak 

Warning: Do not try this at home unless you were born with super Slavic knee strength 

needstosortoutpriorities

THE GUY AT THE END

kittydesade

Ahahah it’s not just knee strength you need, friend. It’s thighs, ass, ankles, calves, you need everything from your waist down to be horrifyingly fit and toned for this.

Also core strength. So include the waist. Everything from the nipples down. 

butnotinthisone

Don’t forget absurd back flexibility

lazycatcorner

 “Ballet is a really hard dance to master.”

Slavic dancing: “Hold my beer.”

My thighs are burning just watching.

spoonmeb

this video just laughed at me for being out of shape.

buh-no

I had a friend growing up that was from Slovakia or Ukraine, I don’t remember which. I knew him from kindergarten to 2nd grade. And since there wasn’t a large enough slavic community for this kind of dancing, he did competitive ballet. He would constantly complain that it wasn’t hard enough. Guys, its competitive ballet, one of the hardest sports you can be in as a young person. Those C-jumps the guys were doing? In american ballet or dance you usually only get your chest to where you head was. They have their bellybutton or hips where their head was. That’s fucking nuts with out running or a pre jump. This kind of dancing was constantly going on at their house. I would like to point out that’s insane. His mom and dad dance almost every day. Not as high since age. But still.