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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
mandopony chebits
6slut

you ever see girls that are so pretty that you don’t know what to do with yourself

debrides

i made a pretty girl laugh w/a silly joke and i got so flustered that i apologized

jaxxgarcia

this pretty girl told me my hair was cute and touched it briefly and I couldn’t form full sentences for a solid 10 minutes.

boobyguy

at a football game a pretty girl told me i was cute and she also called me kiddo and i couldnt play my instrument right for the rest of the night

priestessamy

every girl I see is pretty, I am in a constant state of paralysis

bella-likes-nutella-and-acapella

this pretty girl offered to teach me how to longboard and when she was teaching me how to balance she put her hands on my hips and I felt my soul leave my body

bella-likes-nutella-and-acapella

one time a pretty girl called me “gorgeous” and I was so shocked and flustered that I literally cried right in front of her

alectually

today a pretty girl walked me out of class and i was surprised when she kept walking even though we reached her bus stop and i asked her where she was heading and she said “oh i just wanted to walk you to wherever you’re going” and we both blushed

batmanisagatewaydrug

at work this summer there was a pretty girl who came in multiple times a week and every single day she showed up I would lose the ability to form coherent sentences for at least ten minutes

emiliusthegreat

A pretty cashier at the campus store told me I was pretty and I got so flustered that when I went back to my room I had to lay down for half an hour and my roommate was starting to get concerned. 

bassflutes

There’s a REALLY pretty girl in my band class and she’s three chairs away from me and every time I even glance up at her she looks back and smiles at me and I forget how to read music

amythical-llama

This entire post just added 10 years to my life and soul

wheeloffortune-design

Once I was getting off the bus and there was a girl so beautiful next to me that I tripped and walked into a bus pole.

damaramegido

honestly me every time i see my gf, like holy shit, but also once in college i ran across this weird gothy/pseudo-victorian girl and she was so painfully pretty that i died

blackkatmagic

Once I met a girl so pretty I lost all ability to differentiate between languages and gave her my coffee order in three different ones mashed together.

(She laughed at me, but that’s okay, because she married me two years later.)

things-are-looking-up-oh-finally

This thread ended in the best possible way. I hope y'all stay pure

mandopony

This is legit the most adorable post

Source: 6slut
mandopony osakajack
dreamlightasafeather

IF YOU NEED TO CALL 911 BUT ARE SCARED TO BECAUSE OF SOMEONE IN THE ROOM, dial and ask for a pepperoni pizza. They will ask if you know you’re calling 911. Say yes, and continue pretending you’re making an order. They’ll ask if there’s someone in the room.

You can ask how long it will take for the pizza to get to you, and they will tell you how far away a dispatcher is.

Here is an example video

mamalizmas

Reblog to literally save a life

anotherdayforchaosfay

I’ve done this.  I’m alive because of this. 

My flat-mate’s date for the night was almost as drunk as her.  She had passed out in her room and locked the door.  He refused to leave because he wanted to have sex.  He also demanded food because he was dealing with “whiskey dick”.  He didn’t like the lack of food in the fridge.  I called 911, did the stuff stated above, and he was getting PISSED about how long the “order” was taking.  He took my phone, demanded they “hurry the fuck up”.  Police arrived two minutes later, arrested him, and helped me file a police report.  Pressing charges wasn’t necessary because he had warrants on him from THREE different states for the very thing he planned to do to me.  Several months after this happened one of the officers informed me he was charged with two felonies because he crossed stay lines, and will be serving no less than 35 years in prison.  The officer ripped into my flat-mate about her bringing home complete strangers, while drunk, knowing full well this shit could happen. 

This was 14 years ago.  

Do the pizza order, do it as calmly as you can.  The dispatcher I spoke to said things like this:

“If he’s drunk say you want mushrooms.”  I said I want extra mushrooms.

“If he’s threatening you with sexual assault say you want onions.”  I said I want onions.

She went like this with different toppings and sauces for a description of him, like pineapple if he’s blonde, black olives if he’s tall, extra large if he’s tall, etc.

They’ve heard this sort of coded call before.  They’re trained for it.  They will understand what you’re saying.  Order the pizza.

torios

Really though. I’m in training for dispatch and this was one of the first things they taught us. Pretend you’re talking to a friend or relative, pretend you’re ordering pizza, we’ll figure it out. We’ll word questions so you can answer in an easy, casual way. Please, just make the call and we will do everything we can to help you.

skelatal-remains

Reblog to save a life

blumalamoot mccreesun
nesft

#CROW NO

Crow: CROW YES!

notcuddles

It’s actually impossible to measure how many fucks a corvid give because there is no device sensitive enough to register such a tiny amount.

pardonmewhileipanic

science/animal side of tumblr… explain to me the birb thing

red3blog

Tail Pulling is a behavior noted in many corvids. The practical application is to create a distraction that will allow the birb to make off with the target’s food. Imagine being in the lunch room and a large fellow has a Twinkie you covet. You can’t just take it from him because he’ll defend his Twinkie. But if you thwap him on the back of his neck and then dash around to snag the Twinkie while he investigates, you stand a decent chance of enjoying spongey goodness. This is basically that in birb form.

Except corvids don’t only do this as a distraction. Sometimes they seem to just being doing it to mess with other animals/birbs. But to use my lunch room analogy, there are times you might thwap someone sneakily on the back of the neck just for amusement. Primates exhibit behavior that appears to be just be annoying other animals for amusement. Given how intelligent crows are, its not unlikely that this is a manifestation of an innate desire to just fuck with someone else for the fun of it. Such as this from the link above:

pardonmewhileipanic

THANK YOU FOR THE BIRB KNOWLEDGE

whitmerule

BECAUSE IT IS FUN

littlemissbloo

This speaks to me on a molecular level.

askfordoodles

birbs just wanna have fun

huntersonthewing

Sorry to hijack a little, but to put it bluntly, corvids are also pretty BALSY. They are more than prepared to harass other huge birds of prey which could deal them a lot of damage. There’s plenty of cases of corvids ‘riding’ other birds as well. It’s often to harass the larger bird out of the area, but as @red3blog said, they quite often (in layman’s terms) enjoy fucking shit up for fun.

‘Where the hell is the seatbelt on this thing?’

I mean they deserve a medal for having such huge bird balls imo

Literally no fucks are given by corvids. Ever.

danni-rants

@neurodivergent-crow

neurodivergent-crow

I haven’t seen this post in ages but it’s my fave corvid post.

thespectacularspider-girl

Intelligence is rooted in how much of a dick you can knowingly be.

markiplier rogue-of-broken-time
kellyplier

CANON ANSWERS ABOUT WKM (complete!)

I took notes watching the stream! Let me know if there’s anything integral that I missed– and you can bet SERIOUS MONEY that I’ll be piecing together more theories in the next few days!

CHAPTER ONE

  • CONFIRMED: WARFSTACHE PREQUEL.
  • “Bonjour” was an homage to ADWM.
  • Each character Mark plays has different quotes about “Life” (i.e. Life is for the living, life is ours to choose, life needs a bit of madness).
  • THE DRUNK SEQUENCE PREDICTS EVERYTHING!!
  • The Damien keg stand meant to signify that he’d be stuck in “the upside-down”, and when he tried to wake us up, that told us he was the only one who really wanted to help us!
  • ASSHOLE MARK NEVER DRINKS.
  • The Mayor turning gray means ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
  • Mark tried to make it obvious we would die, yet we were all still surprised (lmao).
  • CONFIRMED: In Mark’s own words, Damien is the only one with a “human” reaction to the death.
  • The Colonel was based on the hunter from Jumanji!
  • The Chef is scary, but inherently harmless.
  • Little Buddy’s “kill” mode is insignificant to the story and WAS an homage to FNaF.
  • CONFIRMED: COLONEL, MARK, AND DAMIEN WERE FRIENDS SINCE CHILDHOOD BUT HAD A FALLING-OUT.
  • And the dick on the body tape was 100% Ethan’s idea!! LMAO

CHAPTER TWO

  • CONFIRMED: The Colonel DOES “pop in and out of existence”, but he is NOT the only one to do so– just the most obvious.
  • Mark tried to make it “painfully apparent” that the Colonel was the one who did it.
  • Detective and Asshole Mark were friends at the same time he, Damien, and Colonel were friends– but the two did NOT know the Detective.
  • The long winding hall sequence with Detective was intentional– so we could get oriented with the house…
  • … because the house “does not follow the laws of physics”.
  • When following the Colonel out of the bedroom on the second floor, we warp with him to the first floor patio (with the pool).
  • The crib in the room was not a planned detail in the story.
  • CONFIRMED: The Colonel and Celine ran off together, and that’s what made Asshole Mark hate him.
  • CONFIRMED: IN THE WHOLE STORY, THERE IS NO HOST INVOLVEMENT WHATSOEVER.
  • CONFIRMED: The Colonel and Asshole Mark grew up together in that house, which is why the Colonel knows it so well and refers to it as “his own”. Mark even considered making those two characters be brothers!

CHAPTER THREE

  • “Hence the guns” is one of Mark’s favorite scenes in the series.
  • The cane is a sign of Damien’s high-class status as Mayor.
  • CONFIRMED: Celine and Asshole Mark were married.
  • Quote from Mark himself: “[Celine] wants what she wants, and she won’t let anyone get in her way”
  • Another quote: “She also has a temper… like someone else we know”
  • Mark’s original inclination was to make Damien and Celine be siblings, hence Celine’s adamant refusal of Damien’s help. (I caught onto this notion, but it didn’t really resonate with anyone else I talked to about it.)
  • Mark said that Celine wanted to use the viewer in the ritual because she saw them as expendable, since she didn’t know them personally.
  • There are no lightning strikes when George says “murder” because he hasn’t been inside the house for many years.
  • CONFIRMED: The house is cursed. (Make of that what you will.)
  • CONFIRMED: In the final door shot of Celine, she is possessed– because she messed with power beyond her control, and Damien was in the room with her at the time.

CHAPTER FOUR

  • The Colonel looks out for Celine and Damien– but NOT Asshole Mark.
  • The odd glowy room-walking sequence was supposedly a small view into another world– “the upside-down”, it was dubbed (but there’s debate about whether that region specifically was “the upside-down”)
  • There is debate as to whether this is how the Colonel “pops in and out of existence”.
  • We don’t see the Detective’s investigation room until that chapter because the house hid it from us.
  • In that room, there are post-its reading “DON’T TRUST THE SEER” (which I caught, but it was a very minor thing I had to watch multiple times to see)
  • The Colonel owed Asshole Mark A LOT of money.
  • As we fall, William says, “It was an accident, I swear!”
  • The original idea for the final gun scene was that Damien would walk in and be the one the Colonel shot, NOT us.
  • CONFIRMED: Asshole Mark had killed himself many times before, but returned to his body from “the upside-down”. That’s why he was stabbed 37 times, poisoned, beaten, strangled, drowned, AND shot– none of those happened on the same day. Asshole Mark tried his hand at the dark arts to achieve this.
  • CONFIRMED: The black eyes we see when Asshole Mark’s body speaks to us after we die is NOT his own spirit– it’s the spirit of someone else trapped there.
  • CONFIRMED: Damien had every intention of helping us! He did! Mark confirmed it– he wasn’t manipulating us at all, he just wanted the best for us!
  • CONFIRMED (!!!): William/the Colonel spent ten hours watching our body overnight and cradled Damien’s cane the whole time. (THE FEELS ARE REAL, GUYS! THEY’RE CANON!!)
  • CONFIRMED: The reason Wilford Warfstache’s suspenders are pink is because they used to be red, but they faded over many, many years.
  • Mark didn’t realize how tragic the ending really was until he was editing it. In his own words, it’s “terrifyingly sad”.

And, finally, the one we’ve all been waiting for…

  • CONFIRMED: DAMIEN PUSHED US OUT OF THE BODY. But he wasn’t manipulating us for that… he did it because he cared for us and didn’t think we deserved the true hell of what resurrection really meant. He did it because he thought it was the right thing to do.
markiplier

All pretty much spot on but I’d like to add clarification on the last point about Damien pushing the viewer out.

The being inhabiting your body at that point is no longer purely Damien nor purely Celine. Imagine two fractured halves of a picture that was stuffed into a broken frame they were never meant for.

Whatever good intentions went into this amalgamation were washed away when only the worst sides of either coin would fit into the slot. The Damien and Celine you know are gone. And when all the light has gone away, all that’s left is Dark.

You weren’t pushed out to be saved.

mysterybensmysteryblog

Ghost: Hellbent progress update

image

Heya everyone, we are still plugging away on the Hellbent video.   While we’ve made some good progress this month, we unfortunately won’t be able to finish it for October.  We don’t have a set date in mind at the moment, but we like to think we can get it out this year.

A majority of the raw animation is completed by now.  We are about halfway through background art.  Afterward will be effects, fixes, and final compositing.

We apologize for not being able to make it in time of our preferred release date, but we want to make sure the video is as polished as we can make it.  We will keep everyone posted when we have a release date set in stone.

Beyond that, we do have some extra things in the works.

image

This here is a schematic for an official Mystery plush.  We’ve gotten a prototype made and are continuing to make adjustments.  We aren’t quite sure how we’re going to fund the production, but we’ll let everyone know when we have things more solidified.

Again, we apologize we weren’t able to get stuff out to ya’ll faster, but thank you for sticking with us and we hope to have content for everyone before too long.

Mystery Skulls Animated Hellbent Update