bringbackmollymauk
Mark: *says one (1) thing about werewolves*
Fanbase: wEREWOLF??? MARK AS A WEREWOLF??? NEW EGO WEREWO-
blumalamoot
mccreesun
RIGHT so when I started my sociology course in college, my teacher stated us off with
‘well I guess we have to do icebreakers. i’m Jon, and I fear bears. why do I fear bears? because bears can run at 30 miles per hour and Chester Zoo is 30 miles away. that means a bear can be outside this door in an hour. why would a bear be here? because they can smell fear and I fear them.’
datisausum
l-a-l-o-u
Fake anime screenshot!!
I had been wanting to try it for a while so, take a d.va~
art by tetratheripper
I added the widowmaker I did it as well!!
Background is from Ghost in the Shell.
markiplier
rogue-of-broken-time
Evolution 1: TATERTOTPLIER
Evolution 2: GODTATOPLIER
Evolution 3: PURPLETATOPLIER
Evolution 4: MAXIMUM POTATOPLIER
((I hope you’re happy, ya darn heckin’ goof))
markiplier
sierra-estrellita
“…I’m doing more than fine.”
I’ve never made a gifset before so excuse the shittiness of it, but man, out of everything he said in that last video, this one spoke to me the most. We’re all doing fine. I could go in depth about how this community has changed me, and how much I love seeing what you guys make, and jesus christ, just how much positivity radiates from our little nook on tumblr, but I think the big thing is that I’m just so proud to associate myself with you guys.
@markiplier
(i hope you guys don’t mind if I tag you, I just thought I would reach out to some of my favorite jims)
@pleaseletthisjimbetaken @ironwoman359 @jim-protection-squad @ego-protection-squad @markired @snowelfxx @jiiiimmmm-with-dyed-hair
mandopony
chebits
you ever see girls that are so pretty that you don’t know what to do with yourself
i made a pretty girl laugh w/a silly joke and i got so flustered that i apologized
this pretty girl told me my hair was cute and touched it briefly and I couldn’t form full sentences for a solid 10 minutes.
at a football game a pretty girl told me i was cute and she also called me kiddo and i couldnt play my instrument right for the rest of the night
every girl I see is pretty, I am in a constant state of paralysis
this pretty girl offered to teach me how to longboard and when she was teaching me how to balance she put her hands on my hips and I felt my soul leave my body
one time a pretty girl called me “gorgeous” and I was so shocked and flustered that I literally cried right in front of her
today a pretty girl walked me out of class and i was surprised when she kept walking even though we reached her bus stop and i asked her where she was heading and she said “oh i just wanted to walk you to wherever you’re going” and we both blushed
at work this summer there was a pretty girl who came in multiple times a week and every single day she showed up I would lose the ability to form coherent sentences for at least ten minutes
A pretty cashier at the campus store told me I was pretty and I got so flustered that when I went back to my room I had to lay down for half an hour and my roommate was starting to get concerned.
There’s a REALLY pretty girl in my band class and she’s three chairs away from me and every time I even glance up at her she looks back and smiles at me and I forget how to read music
This entire post just added 10 years to my life and soul
Once I was getting off the bus and there was a girl so beautiful next to me that I tripped and walked into a bus pole.
honestly me every time i see my gf, like holy shit, but also once in college i ran across this weird gothy/pseudo-victorian girl and she was so painfully pretty that i died
Once I met a girl so pretty I lost all ability to differentiate between languages and gave her my coffee order in three different ones mashed together.
(She laughed at me, but that’s okay, because she married me two years later.)
This thread ended in the best possible way. I hope y'all stay pure
This is legit the most adorable post
mandopony
osakajack
IF YOU NEED TO CALL 911 BUT ARE SCARED TO BECAUSE OF SOMEONE IN THE ROOM, dial and ask for a pepperoni pizza. They will ask if you know you’re calling 911. Say yes, and continue pretending you’re making an order. They’ll ask if there’s someone in the room.
You can ask how long it will take for the pizza to get to you, and they will tell you how far away a dispatcher is.
Reblog to literally save a life
I’ve done this. I’m alive because of this.
My flat-mate’s date for the night was almost as drunk as her. She had passed out in her room and locked the door. He refused to leave because he wanted to have sex. He also demanded food because he was dealing with “whiskey dick”. He didn’t like the lack of food in the fridge. I called 911, did the stuff stated above, and he was getting PISSED about how long the “order” was taking. He took my phone, demanded they “hurry the fuck up”. Police arrived two minutes later, arrested him, and helped me file a police report. Pressing charges wasn’t necessary because he had warrants on him from THREE different states for the very thing he planned to do to me. Several months after this happened one of the officers informed me he was charged with two felonies because he crossed stay lines, and will be serving no less than 35 years in prison. The officer ripped into my flat-mate about her bringing home complete strangers, while drunk, knowing full well this shit could happen.
This was 14 years ago.
Do the pizza order, do it as calmly as you can. The dispatcher I spoke to said things like this:
“If he’s drunk say you want mushrooms.” I said I want extra mushrooms.
“If he’s threatening you with sexual assault say you want onions.” I said I want onions.
She went like this with different toppings and sauces for a description of him, like pineapple if he’s blonde, black olives if he’s tall, extra large if he’s tall, etc.
They’ve heard this sort of coded call before. They’re trained for it. They will understand what you’re saying. Order the pizza.
Really though. I’m in training for dispatch and this was one of the first things they taught us. Pretend you’re talking to a friend or relative, pretend you’re ordering pizza, we’ll figure it out. We’ll word questions so you can answer in an easy, casual way. Please, just make the call and we will do everything we can to help you.
Reblog to save a life
blumalamoot
mccreesun
Crow: CROW YES!
It’s actually impossible to measure how many fucks a corvid give because there is no device sensitive enough to register such a tiny amount.
science/animal side of tumblr… explain to me the birb thing
Tail Pulling is a behavior noted in many corvids. The practical application is to create a distraction that will allow the birb to make off with the target’s food. Imagine being in the lunch room and a large fellow has a Twinkie you covet. You can’t just take it from him because he’ll defend his Twinkie. But if you thwap him on the back of his neck and then dash around to snag the Twinkie while he investigates, you stand a decent chance of enjoying spongey goodness. This is basically that in birb form.
Except corvids don’t only do this as a distraction. Sometimes they seem to just being doing it to mess with other animals/birbs. But to use my lunch room analogy, there are times you might thwap someone sneakily on the back of the neck just for amusement. Primates exhibit behavior that appears to be just be annoying other animals for amusement. Given how intelligent crows are, its not unlikely that this is a manifestation of an innate desire to just fuck with someone else for the fun of it. Such as this from the link above:
THANK YOU FOR THE BIRB KNOWLEDGE
BECAUSE IT IS FUN
This speaks to me on a molecular level.
birbs just wanna have fun
Sorry to hijack a little, but to put it bluntly, corvids are also pretty BALSY. They are more than prepared to harass other huge birds of prey which could deal them a lot of damage. There’s plenty of cases of corvids ‘riding’ other birds as well. It’s often to harass the larger bird out of the area, but as @red3blog said, they quite often (in layman’s terms) enjoy fucking shit up for fun.
‘Where the hell is the seatbelt on this thing?’
I mean they deserve a medal for having such huge bird balls imo
Literally no fucks are given by corvids. Ever.
I haven’t seen this post in ages but it’s my fave corvid post.
Intelligence is rooted in how much of a dick you can knowingly be.
caliaskan
dream-nectar
The full rotation of the Moon as seen by NASA’s Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter.
