Bossboi

[markiplier]

[kellyplier]

@markiplier asked so HERE IT IS: THE EVOLUTION OF POTATOPLIER

Evolution 1: TATERTOTPLIER

Evolution 2: GODTATOPLIER

Evolution 3: PURPLETATOPLIER

Evolution 4: MAXIMUM POTATOPLIER

((I hope you’re happy, ya darn heckin’ goof))

[markiplier]

[sierra-estrellita]

“…I’m doing more than fine.”

I’ve never made a gifset before so excuse the shittiness of it, but man, out of everything he said in that last video, this one spoke to me the most. We’re all doing fine. I could go in depth about how this community has changed me, and how much I love seeing what you guys make, and jesus christ, just how much positivity radiates from our little nook on tumblr, but I think the big thing is that I’m just so proud to associate myself with you guys. 
@markiplier

(i hope you guys don’t mind if I tag you, I just thought I would reach out to some of my favorite jims)
@pleaseletthisjimbetaken @ironwoman359 @jim-protection-squad @ego-protection-squad @markired @snowelfxx @jiiiimmmm-with-dyed-hair

[blumalamoot]

I am SO happy

[aurorastardust13]

So about 4 days ago my brother was working in the yard and he was getting rid of this big old plastic pot we had that was already falling apart. To fit it in the garbage bag he had to smash it into smaller pieces with a shovel.

But when he dumped out the dirt….

…eggs. Ten little eggs.

My mom brought them in to show me. Not knowing what they were or if they were dangerous or not, she asked me if I wanted to take one and open it up outside to make sure it wasn’t full of baby bugs or something. I told her that they were definitely reptile eggs but she was still giving them the ‘I-still-don’t-trust-that-they-aren’t-bugs’ look.

I knew there was no way it was full of bugs and I wouldn’t be able to get it off my mind if we cut one out and killed it. But then I remembered candling.

If you don’t know what candling is, it’s when you put a flashlight under an egg to check if it’s fertile or not.

So I told her to hold on and I ran to get a flashlight.

Lo and behold they were not bugs.

It was our first time ever candling anything so we weren’t exactly sure what to look for. The only videos I had ever seen for candling an egg was a video talking about how some geckos lay eggs without a mate but there is a rare chance they could be fertile anyway; the eggs in the video were always empty though. So we checked all the eggs and they were all alive and responsive. I managed to convince my family that I was 99% sure they were lizards of some kind.

Since we kind of accidentally destroyed their nest and a storm was coming we set out to give them somewhere safe to hatch.

 We got a pot and filled it with damp dirt like the one we found them in but smaller. After candling each egg, we made a divot in the dirt and placed each egg half in and half off, careful not to turn them too much and damage them.

My mom did some research and found that the eggs needed to be kept somewhere with good humidity so we got a plastic book crate, drilled some holes in it, and filled the bottom with wet paper towels.

The mystery eggs were put in the garage where it was just as hot as outside but safe from the huge thunderstorm.

Day 2 of eggs and nothing happened. We didn’t think anything would happen just yet but we were all a little worried that we were doing the wrong thing. It was my day to go finish up cleaning up the dirt and shards from the broken pot in the yard when I found another egg.

I picked it up and it wasn’t as firm as the others. In fact it was leaking. I called my mom and candled the little guy. He was just as alive as the others were. There wasn’t much room in the new incubator with the other eggs so we got a tiny beta fish tank we haven’t used in years and fixed it up for the egg. We put it in the garage next to the others.

Now this egg had me worried. He had been out in the storm with a damaged egg. I would go out and check on him throughout the day. Not a thing happened and I was starting to worry that he didn’t make it.

Day 3 of eggs was interesting. I went out to check again on little egg 11 with my mom. She asked how the others were doing and wanted to see. It was fogged up on the inside so I shone a light through and saw it. A head! A little baby lizard head poking out of the egg! 

The incubator was taken inside and everyone was gathered around the table. We would all switch from watching the eggs, to someone doing research, to checking the eggs, to setting up the empty tank we had, to checking the eggs again.

All together 4 little lizards were hatching. They’d kick for a bit in their eggs but then fall asleep because it was so tiring. 

After a while my mom got concerned about one that hadn’t opened its eyes in ages. It wasn’t moving. I picked up the egg and put it in my hand. I rubbed the shell and gently gave it little tugs. Then out the baby came!

This little guy came out healthy and fast. After a brief look-around he ran out of my hand and back into the pot. Then over the edge of the pot to explore the hides we fit in. 

After 4 of the babies fully hatched and we figured out what we were going to do, we put the incubators in the spare tank we had so we could keep an eye on them. At that point it was a little past 1:00am and a 5th egg started to hatch.

Day 4 of eggs and lizards we went to the local pet store to get something that these super small babies could eat. Luckily, Petco carries super small crickets and meal worms. We loaded up on reptile supplies: bus, vitamin dust, hides, heat lamps, you name it we probably bought it.

Upon getting home my mother and I readied the tank.

At that point all but two eggs had hatched. One we thought wasn’t going to make it because it didn’t react when I candled it, and the other was number 11 who was found a day late and broken. We decided to move the two into one incubator instead of two while we moved 9 of the lizards into their temporary home.

When we look for them they were hiding in the incubator all curled up together under a plant we had put in. They actually seem to do that everywhere they decide to hide which is kind of surprising to me. I thought they were going to all be really territorial with each other. But they seem to like each other more than I thought they would.

After a few hours, number 11 hatched and he was just as healthy and fast as the others despite being through the storm earlier. Not too long after that, the last egg hatched. He was much smaller than the others but equally as fast. We added them both to the tank with the others and they hid as quick as a ninja.

Day 5 of lizards was mostly setting up heat lamps and lights and worrying if they were okay. They stayed hidden under rocks and brush. We never saw them eat so we went back to researching.

Day 6 of lizards and they are alive and well! They’ve taken a liking to the new heat lamp and have been scuttling around there all day. I even saw one eat a cricket! 

Even the smallest of the bunch was enjoying himself in the warmth :)

I will continue to take care of them until it comes time to release them back to their natural habitat. I’ll keep you all updated. It’s such a strange and wonderful learning experience :) 

[aurorastardust13]

Update: At least 4 of them are now 100% confirmed to be eating and hunting.

They grow up so fast ;-;

[aurorastardust13]

After 81 days of watching the skinks grow up and flourish we came to the decision that it was best to release the skinks where they could have all the room they wanted and they could go wherever they pleased.

I had gotten a lot of messages telling me it was too late to release them because they wouldn’t be able to take care of themselves because they had imprinted on us. To double check that releasing them was 100% fine I talked to my uncle about it (he’s a local wildlife biologist).

He said that, unlike mammals, reptiles are born knowing just what to do. After they hatch their instincts kick in. All of them could hunt and hide with excellent speed. So we were given the green light to release them.

We waited until the weather was good and we prepped the skinks for release. I made sure that they were fully fed so they wouldn’t be hungry adjusting to their new surroundings.

We said goodbye and let them go. Honestly it was a great learning experience and I had a lot of fun looking after them. I think I love reptiles more now that I have spent this time with them and have a further understanding of them. I hope all of them enjoy their new home outdoors :)

(Side note, I typed this up ages ago and meant to reblog it sooner but totally got caught up with life and school and totally forgot to. So just clarifying that we didn’t release them in the middle of November. ^^;) 

[zaiyofics]

@kiss-my-asra

[mandopony]

[6slut]

you ever see girls that are so pretty that you don’t know what to do with yourself

[debrides]

i made a pretty girl laugh w/a silly joke and i got so flustered that i apologized

[jaxxgarcia]

this pretty girl told me my hair was cute and touched it briefly and I couldn’t form full sentences for a solid 10 minutes.

[boobyguy]

at a football game a pretty girl told me i was cute and she also called me kiddo and i couldnt play my instrument right for the rest of the night

[priestessamy]

every girl I see is pretty, I am in a constant state of paralysis

[bella-likes-nutella-and-acapella]

this pretty girl offered to teach me how to longboard and when she was teaching me how to balance she put her hands on my hips and I felt my soul leave my body

[bella-likes-nutella-and-acapella]

one time a pretty girl called me “gorgeous” and I was so shocked and flustered that I literally cried right in front of her

[alectually]

today a pretty girl walked me out of class and i was surprised when she kept walking even though we reached her bus stop and i asked her where she was heading and she said “oh i just wanted to walk you to wherever you’re going” and we both blushed

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

at work this summer there was a pretty girl who came in multiple times a week and every single day she showed up I would lose the ability to form coherent sentences for at least ten minutes

[emiliusthegreat]

A pretty cashier at the campus store told me I was pretty and I got so flustered that when I went back to my room I had to lay down for half an hour and my roommate was starting to get concerned. 

[bassflutes]

There’s a REALLY pretty girl in my band class and she’s three chairs away from me and every time I even glance up at her she looks back and smiles at me and I forget how to read music

[amythical-llama]

This entire post just added 10 years to my life and soul

[wheeloffortune-design]

Once I was getting off the bus and there was a girl so beautiful next to me that I tripped and walked into a bus pole.

[damaramegido]

honestly me every time i see my gf, like holy shit, but also once in college i ran across this weird gothy/pseudo-victorian girl and she was so painfully pretty that i died

[blackkatmagic]

Once I met a girl so pretty I lost all ability to differentiate between languages and gave her my coffee order in three different ones mashed together.

(She laughed at me, but that’s okay, because she married me two years later.)

[things-are-looking-up-oh-finally]

This thread ended in the best possible way. I hope y'all stay pure

[mandopony]

This is legit the most adorable post

[mandopony]

[dreamlightasafeather]

IF YOU NEED TO CALL 911 BUT ARE SCARED TO BECAUSE OF SOMEONE IN THE ROOM, dial and ask for a pepperoni pizza. They will ask if you know you’re calling 911. Say yes, and continue pretending you’re making an order. They’ll ask if there’s someone in the room.

You can ask how long it will take for the pizza to get to you, and they will tell you how far away a dispatcher is.

Here is an example video

[mamalizmas]

Reblog to literally save a life

[anotherdayforchaosfay]

I’ve done this.  I’m alive because of this. 

My flat-mate’s date for the night was almost as drunk as her.  She had passed out in her room and locked the door.  He refused to leave because he wanted to have sex.  He also demanded food because he was dealing with “whiskey dick”.  He didn’t like the lack of food in the fridge.  I called 911, did the stuff stated above, and he was getting PISSED about how long the “order” was taking.  He took my phone, demanded they “hurry the fuck up”.  Police arrived two minutes later, arrested him, and helped me file a police report.  Pressing charges wasn’t necessary because he had warrants on him from THREE different states for the very thing he planned to do to me.  Several months after this happened one of the officers informed me he was charged with two felonies because he crossed stay lines, and will be serving no less than 35 years in prison.  The officer ripped into my flat-mate about her bringing home complete strangers, while drunk, knowing full well this shit could happen. 

This was 14 years ago.  

Do the pizza order, do it as calmly as you can.  The dispatcher I spoke to said things like this:

“If he’s drunk say you want mushrooms.”  I said I want extra mushrooms.

“If he’s threatening you with sexual assault say you want onions.”  I said I want onions.

She went like this with different toppings and sauces for a description of him, like pineapple if he’s blonde, black olives if he’s tall, extra large if he’s tall, etc.

They’ve heard this sort of coded call before.  They’re trained for it.  They will understand what you’re saying.  Order the pizza.

[torios]

Really though. I’m in training for dispatch and this was one of the first things they taught us. Pretend you’re talking to a friend or relative, pretend you’re ordering pizza, we’ll figure it out. We’ll word questions so you can answer in an easy, casual way. Please, just make the call and we will do everything we can to help you.

[skelatal-remains]

Reblog to save a life

[blumalamoot]

[nesft]

#CROW NO

Crow: CROW YES!

[notcuddles]

It’s actually impossible to measure how many fucks a corvid give because there is no device sensitive enough to register such a tiny amount.

[pardonmewhileipanic]

science/animal side of tumblr… explain to me the birb thing

[red3blog]

Tail Pulling is a behavior noted in many corvids. The practical application is to create a distraction that will allow the birb to make off with the target’s food. Imagine being in the lunch room and a large fellow has a Twinkie you covet. You can’t just take it from him because he’ll defend his Twinkie. But if you thwap him on the back of his neck and then dash around to snag the Twinkie while he investigates, you stand a decent chance of enjoying spongey goodness. This is basically that in birb form.

Except corvids don’t only do this as a distraction. Sometimes they seem to just being doing it to mess with other animals/birbs. But to use my lunch room analogy, there are times you might thwap someone sneakily on the back of the neck just for amusement. Primates exhibit behavior that appears to be just be annoying other animals for amusement. Given how intelligent crows are, its not unlikely that this is a manifestation of an innate desire to just fuck with someone else for the fun of it. Such as this from the link above:

[pardonmewhileipanic]

THANK YOU FOR THE BIRB KNOWLEDGE

[whitmerule]

BECAUSE IT IS FUN

[littlemissbloo]

This speaks to me on a molecular level.

[askfordoodles]

birbs just wanna have fun

[huntersonthewing]

Sorry to hijack a little, but to put it bluntly, corvids are also pretty BALSY. They are more than prepared to harass other huge birds of prey which could deal them a lot of damage. There’s plenty of cases of corvids ‘riding’ other birds as well. It’s often to harass the larger bird out of the area, but as @red3blog said, they quite often (in layman’s terms) enjoy fucking shit up for fun.

‘Where the hell is the seatbelt on this thing?’

I mean they deserve a medal for having such huge bird balls imo

Literally no fucks are given by corvids. Ever.

[danni-rants]

@neurodivergent-crow

[neurodivergent-crow]

I haven’t seen this post in ages but it’s my fave corvid post.

[thespectacularspider-girl]

Intelligence is rooted in how much of a dick you can knowingly be.

[mandopony]

[pinkbamboos]

i’m crying

[plumcupcakes]

“I can take Chica, and we can go to Cracker Barrel, whenever we want!!”

[markiplier]

[kellyplier]

CANON ANSWERS ABOUT WKM (complete!)

I took notes watching the stream! Let me know if there’s anything integral that I missed– and you can bet SERIOUS MONEY that I’ll be piecing together more theories in the next few days!

CHAPTER ONE

• CONFIRMED: WARFSTACHE PREQUEL.
• “Bonjour” was an homage to ADWM.
• Each character Mark plays has different quotes about “Life” (i.e. Life is for the living, life is ours to choose, life needs a bit of madness).
• THE DRUNK SEQUENCE PREDICTS EVERYTHING!!
• The Damien keg stand meant to signify that he’d be stuck in “the upside-down”, and when he tried to wake us up, that told us he was the only one who really wanted to help us!
• ASSHOLE MARK NEVER DRINKS.
• The Mayor turning gray means ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
• Mark tried to make it obvious we would die, yet we were all still surprised (lmao).
• CONFIRMED: In Mark’s own words, Damien is the only one with a “human” reaction to the death.
• The Colonel was based on the hunter from Jumanji!
• The Chef is scary, but inherently harmless.
• Little Buddy’s “kill” mode is insignificant to the story and WAS an homage to FNaF.
• CONFIRMED: COLONEL, MARK, AND DAMIEN WERE FRIENDS SINCE CHILDHOOD BUT HAD A FALLING-OUT.
• And the dick on the body tape was 100% Ethan’s idea!! LMAO

CHAPTER TWO

• CONFIRMED: The Colonel DOES “pop in and out of existence”, but he is NOT the only one to do so– just the most obvious.
• Mark tried to make it “painfully apparent” that the Colonel was the one who did it.
• Detective and Asshole Mark were friends at the same time he, Damien, and Colonel were friends– but the two did NOT know the Detective.
• The long winding hall sequence with Detective was intentional– so we could get oriented with the house…
• … because the house “does not follow the laws of physics”.
• When following the Colonel out of the bedroom on the second floor, we warp with him to the first floor patio (with the pool).
• The crib in the room was not a planned detail in the story.
• CONFIRMED: The Colonel and Celine ran off together, and that’s what made Asshole Mark hate him.
• CONFIRMED: IN THE WHOLE STORY, THERE IS NO HOST INVOLVEMENT WHATSOEVER.
• CONFIRMED: The Colonel and Asshole Mark grew up together in that house, which is why the Colonel knows it so well and refers to it as “his own”. Mark even considered making those two characters be brothers!

CHAPTER THREE

• “Hence the guns” is one of Mark’s favorite scenes in the series.
• The cane is a sign of Damien’s high-class status as Mayor.
• CONFIRMED: Celine and Asshole Mark were married.
• Quote from Mark himself: “[Celine] wants what she wants, and she won’t let anyone get in her way”
• Another quote: “She also has a temper… like someone else we know”
• Mark’s original inclination was to make Damien and Celine be siblings, hence Celine’s adamant refusal of Damien’s help. (I caught onto this notion, but it didn’t really resonate with anyone else I talked to about it.)
• Mark said that Celine wanted to use the viewer in the ritual because she saw them as expendable, since she didn’t know them personally.
• There are no lightning strikes when George says “murder” because he hasn’t been inside the house for many years.
• CONFIRMED: The house is cursed. (Make of that what you will.)
• CONFIRMED: In the final door shot of Celine, she is possessed– because she messed with power beyond her control, and Damien was in the room with her at the time.

CHAPTER FOUR

• The Colonel looks out for Celine and Damien– but NOT Asshole Mark.
• The odd glowy room-walking sequence was supposedly a small view into another world– “the upside-down”, it was dubbed (but there’s debate about whether that region specifically was “the upside-down”)
• There is debate as to whether this is how the Colonel “pops in and out of existence”.
• We don’t see the Detective’s investigation room until that chapter because the house hid it from us.
• In that room, there are post-its reading “DON’T TRUST THE SEER” (which I caught, but it was a very minor thing I had to watch multiple times to see)
• The Colonel owed Asshole Mark A LOT of money.
• As we fall, William says, “It was an accident, I swear!”
• The original idea for the final gun scene was that Damien would walk in and be the one the Colonel shot, NOT us.
• CONFIRMED: Asshole Mark had killed himself many times before, but returned to his body from “the upside-down”. That’s why he was stabbed 37 times, poisoned, beaten, strangled, drowned, AND shot– none of those happened on the same day. Asshole Mark tried his hand at the dark arts to achieve this.
• CONFIRMED: The black eyes we see when Asshole Mark’s body speaks to us after we die is NOT his own spirit– it’s the spirit of someone else trapped there.
• CONFIRMED: Damien had every intention of helping us! He did! Mark confirmed it– he wasn’t manipulating us at all, he just wanted the best for us!
• CONFIRMED (!!!): William/the Colonel spent ten hours watching our body overnight and cradled Damien’s cane the whole time. (THE FEELS ARE REAL, GUYS! THEY’RE CANON!!)
• CONFIRMED: The reason Wilford Warfstache’s suspenders are pink is because they used to be red, but they faded over many, many years.
• Mark didn’t realize how tragic the ending really was until he was editing it. In his own words, it’s “terrifyingly sad”.

And, finally, the one we’ve all been waiting for…

• CONFIRMED: DAMIEN PUSHED US OUT OF THE BODY. But he wasn’t manipulating us for that… he did it because he cared for us and didn’t think we deserved the true hell of what resurrection really meant. He did it because he thought it was the right thing to do.

[markiplier]

All pretty much spot on but I’d like to add clarification on the last point about Damien pushing the viewer out.

The being inhabiting your body at that point is no longer purely Damien nor purely Celine. Imagine two fractured halves of a picture that was stuffed into a broken frame they were never meant for.

Whatever good intentions went into this amalgamation were washed away when only the worst sides of either coin would fit into the slot. The Damien and Celine you know are gone. And when all the light has gone away, all that’s left is Dark.

You weren’t pushed out to be saved.

[markiplier]

[madiesunny]

HOW DARE YOU DENT THE BARREL?!?!