Bossboi

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
abominationfiixed spearxwind
froody

There have been several theories put forward as to why there is such a high concentration of strange disappearances in the Appalachian mountains.

Those theories include ones born of extreme classism such as wild men, cannibals or cults. The more esoteric ones are tolerable, theories such as Sasquatch activity, alien abduction, Not Deer related activity or strange cosmic shifts in time and space.

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As an Appalachian person, I personally think it’s because the caves are eating people.

Now hear me out, that sounds wild but really stop and think about it. When no one is around, who is to say that caves don’t come alive and start sucking people in? Think about how many sets of remains with archeological significance have been found in caves worldwide? You could say that it’s because evolutionarily modern humans and our ancestors occupied caves for hundreds of thousands of years. You could say it’s because they’re perfect dark tombs to bury our dead in or to crawl in when your injured and need shelter. Or you could say the caves eat people and have been doing that since the beginning of time. That’s what I choose to believe and that’s why I don’t go near them. Artificial caverns like mines are more mouths for the earth to feed with and that’s why I don’t go near them either. I’m imploring you to watch your back whenever you’re near a known cave and don’t venture into limestone cave country alone.

We put steel bars over the mouths of caves here in western Virginia, you may be tempted to believe this is to keep people from vandalizing the inside, disturbing endangered bat species or wandering in and getting lost. That’s not true. I know it is a muzzle for the cave. One of those Hannibal Lecter face cages to keep it from eating you. Watch out. I’m warning you. They’re lying to you.

derinthescarletpescatarian

I live on top if limestone and can confirm that the caves are hungry, they do eat people, and there are more of them underfoot than you think.

adelphicoracle

As a former caver, hell yes. If you go inside you can hear how much they want you not to leave

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froody

You look like you’re hearing them in that photo.

abominationfiixed onemillionspiders
pangur-and-grim

what if instead of that other thing, it had been Animorphs that captured the global attention. like I’m talking blockbuster films with graphic CGI morphing sequences, people lining up at midnight dressed as bears and gorillas, 20-something-year-olds with Andalite and Hork Bajir tattoos, people talking about what their fighting morph would be as a first date question, an Animorphs World with a life size yeerk pool, people chanting ‘Tobias!’ everytime a redtail hawk flies by, and K. A. Applegate’s pleasant and progressive voice getting boosted as it deserves to be

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bogleech

Grown ass adults think wizard school boy was “dark and mature” while almost every animorphs book confronted the horrors of things like war crimes, class genocide, torture, abuse and psychological trauma, bluntly and literally rather than allegorically, while every so often a major characters is, just as literally, eviscerated.