Bossboi

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
starrynightnerdygirl

cooking with momplier:

step one: prepare your vegetables

step two: wash good

step three: wash good

step four: don’t trust farmers

step five: put a little extra “you know what” in your ingredients

step six: dump the meat

step seven: measure out your meat unnecessarily precisely and then slap it in the bowl

step eight: korea does not have a system of measurements, they go by spoon

step nine: tendenize your meat; you can use a hammer or pineapple

step ten: juice is the best

step eleven: doesn’t exist

step twelve: kill the fat cell

step thirteen: practice / all of them

step fourteen: only cook if you’re feeding ten people or more

        b: Korean recipes are only catered towards families of ten or more

step fifteen: mushroom time

step sixteen: the chunky has to go fine / make sure you get your vitamin something

step seventeen: you need mineral; you mineral or you die

step eighteen: pound until hamburger / you must be precise

step nineteen: i just lied / throw away your tablespoons; you won’t need them

step twenty: i lied again

        b: check to see if it’s sample spoon by putting it in your mouth

step twenty-one: all the other steps were not important, but every step from twenty-one on is important

step twenty-two: it’s expected that all your ingredients should eventually just mix together

step twenty-three: real sesame, none of that fake stuff

step twenty-four: and one more

step twenty-five: add MSG

       b: it’s your choice

step twenty-six: doesn’t exist

step twenty-seven: everything’s a tablespoon unless it’s two tablespoons

step twenty-eight: go with your gut

step twenty-nine: onion has to have there

       b; you could’ve put onion before all these other steps

step thirty: the more the garlic, the better that it is

       b: good for you

step thirty-one: we unfortunately have to put a little more salt

step thirty-two: throw away half your salt

step thirty-three: i don’t know???

step thirty-four: no time to laugh

step thirty-five: put some pepper then throw it away

step thirty-six: most important: soy sauce

step thirty-seven: wash your hands

step thirty-eight: mix massage

        b: don’t break the precious meat

step thirty-nine: if it turns out hamburger, that’s fine

step forty: let it marinate

step forty-one: wash your hands / need more prettier

step forty-two: you’re wrong, you’re just wrong

step forty-three: call gordon ramsay, tell him he’s wrong

step forty-four: make it about three millimeter

step forty-five: bitter the better

step forty-six: no french allowed

step forty-seven: we’re going for color / never be delicate with your vegetables

step forty-eight: high

step forty-nine: the most important step: don’t believe a word i say

step fifty: place hand in the pan to test the temperature, exactly five inches above

step fifty-one: whatever the temp was, turn it down a little bit

step fifty-two: salt brings out the sweet flavor

step fifty-three: doesn’t exist

step fifty-four: in the bowl where you mixed the carrots and bell peppers, carefully pick out the peppers

step fifty-five: cook it gently

step fifty-six: you want the crunch

step fifty-seven: don’t time it, just look at it / high heat first

step fifty-eight: check the temperature, high heat, check it with a hand in the pan, stick your face in there

step fifty-nine: you know it’s hot when your hand’s brown

step sixty: pick a random tool out of the bucket and use it to scoop the meat with / make sure your pan is thiccc

step sixty-one: make sure it sizzles like a [insert cat purr]

step sixty-two: start spooning your meat

step sixty-three: you know it’s cooking when you hear the sound

step sixty-four: impatient; dump the whole thing

step sixty-five: put a lid on it, let it do the job

step sixty-six, the “last” step: let’s make it a little prettier

step sixty-seven: “voila” is now korean

step sixty-eight: you won’t be disappointed

step sixty-nine: mom is never wrong / deny deny deny

step seventy: maybe a little more salt or soy sauce

step seventy-one: make sure your meat isn’t too thin

step seventy-two: check step seventy-one before you’ve even started this recipe

in case anyone wants to watch the chaos themselves: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HetWnxlVtA

markiplier cooking momplier cooking with markiplier and momplier this is like cooking with your grandma no measurements onE TABLESPOON french korean if anyone can actually make it from this i'm impressed mark's mom is so nice this is really long oops
welcometonightvale-posts flashgloria
hexmaniacmareen

what they say: cats are evil and unable to love

what they mean: i dont know how to handle small animals and consider them lashing out in SELF DEFENSE an insult

rad-roach

Usually what it boils down to is “I’m mad because the cat didn’t act like a dog”.

black-nata

image
lil-mizz-jay

Pushing fragile things off tables and breaking them: Self defense. 

Destroying Christmas Trees: Self defense, I mean the tree attacked them. 

Scratching their owner’s eyeball: Self defense. 

Scratching their sleeping owner’s face: Self defense. 

Jumping on their owner’s back and clawing into their spine: Self defense. 

Admittedly yeah 

A dog doesn’t do those things because a dog’s version of self defense is to be a good animal who loves you and doesn’t attack you unless you attack them first. 

I mean if a cat feels that threatened by everything in their owner’s household maybe the owner shouldn’t have gotten a cat. 

amphiaria

Pushing fragile things off tables and breaking them: Playing. Cats are well-known to like to play with small objects. Your cat does not know what “fragile” means and does not understand the distinction between toy and not-toy objects. Place fragile things out of a cat’s line of sight and reach, and if you don’t provide them with enough enrichment items that they go looking for them, that’s on you.

Destroying Christmas Trees: Cats like to climb things. They’re not doing it to spite you.

Scratching their owner’s eyeball: Probably an accident, due to overstimulation when playing. It wasn’t trying to hurt you. Don’t anthropomorphize animals by attributing spite to them. Animals don’t do spite the way that humans do.

Scratching their sleeping owner’s face: Trying to rouse you with its paw, probably gently, because it loves you and wants to play with you.

Jumping on their owner’s back and clawing into their spine: Come on. If a cat is jumping on you, it loves you and wants to be close to you. Digging in with its claws is how it balances itself on an unstable surface and is purely a reflexive reaction. It isn’t intending to hurt you.

99% of cat behavioral problems stem from bored cats. Cats need to climb, need to scratch, and need small objects to play with. I only recommend adopting cats in pairs, so that they can keep each other entertained. Cats are not purely solitary. They get lonely, and lonely cats act out. Once again, your entire problem with cats as a species seems to stem from the fact that you don’t understand how cats express affection and it upsets you that they don’t do so the way that dogs do. Cats aren’t small dogs and cannot be expected to behave as such.

otahkoapisiakii

FELINE PROTECTION SQUAD

blumalamoot disasterbidesign
thepaladog

Nintendo’s sales haven’t been what they hoped for or expected, so all the executives got together and made the decision to cut their salaries in half to ensure their employees still get paid. They say it’s the fault of the executives that the products aren’t selling well, not their employees, so it isn’t fair for the employees to have to take the hits for that.

Why are there people who don’t like or respect Nintendo again?

rogueport

Here are some sources for this 

loveyourchaos

This is unexpected. 

bottom-bakugou

image

I DONT HAVE THE MONEY FOR A SWITCH IM TRYING I SWEAR IM TRYING

perpetuallyfive

I feel like it’s worth saying that this is from a few years ago, when Satoru Iwata was president of the company, before his passing, and taking a pay cut was largely his idea. (Most of the directors at the top took a 20 or 30 percent pay cut, while Iwata cut his own salary by half.) They are doing much better now but, unfortunately, although he was involved with the prototyping and development of the Switch – the Wii U is essentially an early version of it – Iwata did not live to see its launch, which has been a massive success and is currently the fastest selling console of this generation. They had a great idea and just needed more time to execute on it.

But he was still a part of the system at launch, when a hidden tribute to him was placed inside the OS that could only be unlocked on the anniversary of his death. Nintendo is an amazing company; there’s a reason they’ve been around for over a hundred years.